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TechnoratiBack to school: a conversation about tattoos
More notes on fashion, flesh and focal points from the Bureau of Humiliation and Embarrassment.
When did it happen? Was I looking the other way? How is it that the tattoo - the sailor's creative choice for venting - become an acceptable form of all-over bling for even a soccer mom?
Not open minded you say? True, my children may refer to me as the Bureau of Humiliation and Embarrassment, but I suspect that I am not alone in my opinion even as a somewhat typical generation Xer, that is, one who is concerned with blue jean back pocket design.
To be honest, if I think hard about famous tattoo-bearers out there I come up with the following: Britney Spears, Charles Manson, Popeye. And, unfortunately, these personalities correspond to the adjectives showy, possessed, goofy.
My children - except for the female adolescent - currently think that tattoos are gross. I chalk this up to their primal recognition of what is truly beautiful (good) and ugly (kind of evil). So, for example, the roses in my front yard are "pretty" but the squirrel carcass under it is "ugly". A sparkly necklace is pretty; your garden variety tattoo is ugly.
Somewhere along the timeline of aesthetic development, this all changes. Indeed, university art departments thrive on this. (That lump of clay may not actually hold liquid, but it sure makes a nice deconstruction of the patriarchical device of oppression known as the water pitcher.) This shift in sensitivities may be the result of watching too many Simpson's episodes or spending too much quality time with a nasty looking crop of Cabbage Patch dolls, but many of us know that by adolescence, the simple demarcation of ugly and pretty may blur like fine print to aged eyes.
Since a good percentage of my waking day is now dedicated to scoping the bowels - er, tunnels…no, pathways of adolescent tastes, I engage in tattoo conversation on a pretty regular basis. For example, my daughter might say:
"So you think that tattoos are mutilating the body?"
Okay, I'm not going to fall for the old "mutilating the body" trap. But out comes: "Of course!"
"Well then," she adds, "so is ear piercing, kidney removal, and bunion surgery…"
Yup, I saw that one coming. "No that's different," I protest.
"How?" she taunts.
"Charles Manson has one," I answer.
"Who?"
Later I realize that I could have told her about the pain of the tattoo-needle-thing, the permanence of tattoos, and the fact that laser removal also hurts.
"Well, now there are temporary hemp tattoos Mom!" The triumph is gleaming in her eyes.
"But, but, but you'll look like Popeye…and he's goofy!" I'm really groping now. In a more contemplative moment, I remember the aesthetics thing and realize that this argument is just not going to work. (Young parents: Disconnect your cable TV and throw away your ugly toys now) So I try the reliable "one day you will be older and respectable" line of reasoning. Here's my daughter's answer:
"Alright Mom, if everyone else is getting tattoos now, then it will one day be respectable for older people because all old people will have them."
I see that my children's high priced education is paying off. This kid can sure deal a good argument.
"No it won't," I say. "You can't bet on all respectable people getting a tattoo…and staying respectable. It's still a low class thing…Britney Spears has one, er, many…I think."
Uh oh. Huge mistake. The class argument never works because I always end up with that self-righteous smirk of class consciousness.
So then we go to Church. The "respectable older" (fifty-something) lady in front of us is a fine illustration of decorum - until she bends forward to adjust a strap on her shoe.
An inky skull stares back at me and my family from the base of her spine just above her generous underwear cleavage. Did my daughter see it?
"Ewww," say the preschool twins."
"See Mom," my daughter nudges. "Even old ladies get them."
This takes quick thinking on my part, so I go for the multiple argument strategy.
"She's a Harley Davidson executive (it's possible here in Milwaukee)… It's really a bandaid…She used to be into extreme surfing… She's actually twenty-two but the tattoo injected a chemical into her body that makes her look fifty. So, there!"
(I often think that if I could have spoken a little more freely in that pew I could have pointed out that the old skull on the lady's back bone looked like it was melting because that's what happens to marks on the skin as it ages. "Old people" stuff always stops children in their tracks.)
Alas, however, even by the next Sunday, I haven't made much progress in the anti-tattoo crusade. But I'm adaptable. A few more moments alone with myself and my Bon Bons (that's what we mothers of adolescent children eat) and I have it all worked out.
Tattoos are pretty to an awful lot of people. The good residents of the Polynesian Islands used tattoos like the Scots used tartans. In fact "ta" is the Polynesian word for "to strike something", and Captain Cook coined the English term "tattoo" for the rest of us to use. There is even evidence that the ancient Greeks and Romans indulged in a little needle-in-ink fun too, so it seems that there is ancient tradition behind this apparently modern act of fashion rebellion.
Yes, it's true that body art is more popular than at any time in the past, even the sixties. This is due to the incorporation of flesh as a fabric in fashion and the resulting Great Recession of cloth from across wide swaths of the body. (You have to make plain old skin interesting if you are going to show so much of it.) Remember that Polynesians are not known for large swaths of cloth.
It's also true that there is nothing intrinsically evil about a tattoo. A few not-really-permanent-after-all tattoos on discreet areas of the body probably won't track a fellow into a life of servile misery. (Don't tell my daughter that I made such a radical statement!)
Indeed, it takes a lot more than Bon Bons (it takes caffeine) for me to realize that the truly wisest counsel against tattoo mania is related to a very simple concept in fashion: focal point.
Humans experience each other through the senses, especially vision. We read each others' visual presentation just as we listen to the words and sentences, intonations and expressions of the spoken language. In turn, this language facilitates not only personal relationships, but also the necessary mutual understanding and, hopefully, respect.
That's a tall order for something which seems to foster so much vice. But fashion, perhaps because of the safety net of convention (read, syntax and semantics), can do this beautifully. It can lead others to understand who we are and where we are headed.
But it can only do this if it leads the eye to one very important focal point: The face.
Once someone looks into my eyes I know they are not just listening, but learning. They are learning about my experiences, my opinions, my tastes, my intelligence, my attitudes, my aspirations, and even my sense of self worth.
If my listener is distracted - especially by something which is made to distract, like a tattoo - he stops learning about me. That rose on my cleavage or unicorn on my forearm only tells him that 1) I view the tattoo as an acceptable form of bodily adornment, and 2) There's a suspicious mole next to the rose. (I think I've seen just about every sort of skin disease in this Great Recession of fabric.)
The other thing learned by the listener depends upon the listener himself because he brings his experiences, opinions, tastes and attitudes to the entire exchange. In short, he comes with his own notions about the tattoo.
True, tattoos seem to be ubiquitous and it would seem to follow that people would generally accept them because they are so widespread.
But that is not what is happening. The acceptance of this form of adornment (as ancient as it is) has not crossed the borders of all cultures, locations, generations, professions, and social groups. Just look: there's a brouhaha over its appropriateness - I've written an article on the subject and you are reading it.
Few of us operate in complete homogeny. We each will eventually meet someone with different notions on the meaning and purpose of many different forms of fashion. Again, the safety net of convention prevents misunderstanding by allowing us to adorn ourselves in ways which lead to our faces.
What my children must ultimately understand is that the focal point of their fashion needs to be their faces, and that the tattoo (skull, rose, unicorn, or even "mother") only serves to distract, thus frustrating the possibility for understanding and mutual respect. That might require a lot more tattoo conversation, but I suspect that each one of my children will come to understand the potential of their personal fashion through many other fashion experiences - both positive and negative.
Mary Sheehan Warren is a fashion consultant and author of It's So You! Fitting Fashion to Your Life. She lives in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, USA.
tattos??? she’s right, they really can make you look low class and uneducated,plus I have heard so many stories about people getting rejected from jobs becuase of that naked woman on thier arm. Mary Sheehan Warren put that article together very nicely and her daghter seems to have a nice sence of humor.
:-) I have tattoos and i must say it was the worst thing i ever did growing up through hard rock/metal days.
Although at the time it was a good idea and i was such a great time, it didn’t matter too much.
But now I’m wishing them away… The tattoo shops in the uk suck anyway as you never get what you ask for in the first place. Ie: you want it on the back of your forearm, it goes on the side, why?? lol ready for the next mistake..
To address the “Christians” who wrote (and others interested) in what the Bible does teach:
In the Old Testament, the Chosen People were specifically commanded, “Thou shall not make any cuttings in your flesh...or tattoo any marks upon you; I am the Lord” (Leviticus 19:28). Inspired by God, St. Paul admonishes us, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God?” (1 Cor 6:19). Being a temple of the Holy Spirit, we owe our body due care and protection and decorum.
Tatoos do not fit into the admonition of due care, protection, and decorum.
It seems to me that at some level getting a tattoo or dressing or grooming in a particular way are mostly about how we appear to others. We want others to perceive us in a particular way.
We want to create a persona, our own unique style. I think young people are particularly sensitive about their persona, how they are seen by others. A tattoo is one more way to help create for others the “real you”, you want them to see. (Perhaps we are more affected by 60 years of TV advertising than we thought)
It seems that some of the tattoo craze can be really helpful for our kids. You can get a pretty good handle on someone by judging their tattoos or their lack of the same. What’s the “face” this other person is trying to present to the rest of us?
I tell my children that tattoos are OK, as long as they reflect the real you. So, for example, if my son returns from his second tour in Iraq and he wants to remember in a special and permanent way the members of his team that were killed with a tattoo....thats great. If my junior in high school wants to imitate his older brother with an Iraq tattoo...I’d tell him to go to Iraq first.
I happen to be a 20-somthing mother of 2 daughters with a third daughter on the way and I have 2 tattoos and several piercings with 5 more tattoos planned after the birth of this child. I happened to like them when they were done and since one was done as an honor to my deceased father I still happen to like them very much. I thought it through before getting them and I still want the other 5. If you don’t like something don’t be so narrow minded as to judge the person before you get to know them just because they aren’t wearing a polo shirt and khaki pants. As for explaining them to my children when they are older I hope that they will be able to decide for themselves what is right and what isn’t and make a choice to have them or not but not to judge others without knowing them first. You can’t expect to be listened to and not judged when all you are doing is judging without listening yourselves.
My late grandfather had a tattoo. He was a sailor in the merchant navy. It was on his arm and faded as the years wore on. I remember as a child, wondering if he could get it touched up or perhaps, even removed altogether. I was very proud of my grandfather with his tattoo, yet, as I observed my grandfather over the change of the years, I felt that I noticed some regret in him towards his tattoo. Even if he could somehow remove the evidence, there would still always be the memory of grandfather, with his tattoo.
Whilst I learnt to appreciate and even admire the skill and intricacy involved in the art of tattooing, I realized from a young age, that getting a tattoo was not a very good idea. It seemed to me that the disadvantages far outweighed the advantages. Maybe we could hear some more thoughts from older people who have lived with tattoos all their lives.
On a much more sombre note, let’s not forget the many hundreds of thousands of people forcibly tattooed in concentration camps during WWII. I have met more than my fair share of these folk. It is always a shock when you first meet them wearing a short sleeved shirt with a number on their forearm. Our capacity to have a light hearted discussion of tattoos and body piercing is a luxury we should cherish in a world replete with horrors.
I am a yacht sailor by hobby, I have a tattoo on right upper arm. It is not visible even when I wear a T-shirt. Some sailors have tattoos but are not forced to have one. I chose an image of a “Dolphin”, because it is a symbol of Hope.
Having a tattoo does not make you less of a person. However, I think that we must be sensititive to the sensitivties of other people. Some offensive images and number of visible tattoos affect some people.
Some people find it hard to believe that I have a tattoo, some are even surprised that I have one. Eventually the stigma fades away.
To Dannyboy,
It’s funny you mentioned my developing a theory on the focal point of fashion; I wrote a whole book on it: It’s So You! Fitting Fashion to Your Life. YOu can buy it at http://www.spencepublishing.com. Thanks for the prompt!
I never once in this book recommend the hijab. It does not logically follow in a fashion/aesthetics theory of face as the focal point. My book will offer many things which do logically follow.
Mary
I went off line to respond to the first comment (had to stop a tattoo from coming into the house), only to come back on line and see these comments. (I wanted to thank the first commentator for calling me a “lady.” The last time I saw the word in fancy cursive was in a tattoo on the very low cleavage of a woman at the local Safeway.) I was, however, very correct in suspecting that tattoos are a bit controversial.
One of my non-adolescent children mentioned that “others really are the ones to experience the tattoo...kind of like bad breath.” You may not have to get one if you don’t like it, but you will have to experience it from others. (That’s what tattoos are for.)
So, tattoos as visual bad breath? What do you think?
Mary
FLAduranie said:
“who are you to judge a person for the way the chose to decorate their body. Do you not do the same when you put on clothes or jewelry?
As far as tattoos being part of the “gay,” evil culture you speak of.......all I can say is you need help!!!!!!! People like YOU are the TRUE evil!”
Funny how the only person in this discussion who actually does judge people ("YOU are the TRUE evil!"), rather than specific choices made by people, is the very same one who takes a “who are you to judge” stance on this issue. Not a single one of the people writing against tattoos in this discussion went so far as to call someone who has a tattoo evil. Funny how “who are you to judge?” so quickly passes into the sternest of judgements…
I probably will discourage my little son and any other children we are blessed with from getting tattoos, for some of the reasons that have already been discussed (health, the tendency of young people to like things that they will no longer like when they are older, modesty, etc.) but I wish the author had worked out the implications of her theory of fashion a little more fully.
Perhaps this is not a real problem, but the logical end of the theory of the face as the proper center of fashion seems to me to be something like the hijab. This is an interesting idea. Should Christian women in Europe, America, Australia, and the rest of the non-Muslim world be campaigning for a return to the fashion customs of the middle east? I for one would certainly like to see our religious sisters put their habits back on, and I do think that Mary is most beautifully represented in such ultra-modest garments. So should Catholic women in general start covering their hair, wrists, ankles, and necks again? Maybe… I’d love to hear more focused thought on the implications of Ms. Warren’s idea.
peace
I don’t like tattoos. I also don’t like male ear-piercing or male long hair. As FLAduranie has stated (quite loudmouthedly and lacking arguments), I won’t get any.
But I have very good friends and relatives, whom I appreciate and respect who have some or all of those “decorations”.
Ethically, or based on christian morality, I can’t find a strong reason to avoid any of them. Aesthetically speaking I do have some qualms, but each to his choice: bad taste in dressing is a far wider problem. And you’ll hardly go to hell for bad taste.
Should I choose a battle to fight, I would embark on true liberty, respect to human dignity, the importance of authority, etc., not just in the abstract but in everyday life. If that meant allowing tattoos, then tattoos be welcome: I at least fail to see them as intrinsically bad. If the tattoo is an expression of rebellion to parental authority, disrespect to others, sexual provocation, blasphemy, etc., the battle must be fought on other grounds.
And I do think that when (if) a teen ager enters adulthood and has his own children, bearing a tattoo he got a few decades ago, he’ll have a strong argument on why not to get one…
Tattooing one’s body (parts) may be a manifestation of an esteem problem (yes..even among 50-year olds)
Hi!
Thanks for this interesting and enlightening article. The idea that the FACE should be the focal point of any fashion is really so true. Saw lots of young people’s eyes light up when they hear that the most important way to get people’s respectful attention is by making them look at their face and then their eyes…
Having tattoos at conspicuous places of the body, bare-bellies, and low cleavages, take away that opportunity to be known what the person really is.
Interesting thoughts everyone. I have never wanted a tattoo but I have my ears pierced. I think if you want a tattoo it’s up to you but the point about HIV and hepatitis shouldn’t be taken too lightly. Mind you, having said that I think there are better and less permanent ways of making a statement. What if you change your mind in 10 years time.......too bad, you’re stuck with it mate!
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