Civil wordsAdvice from an American expert on how to keep your cool when discussing the election. Pier Massimo Forni is a professor of
Italian literature at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore who has launched an
unusual initiative – the Civility
Project. This is an attempt to bring urbane good manners to the American
scene in an era of road rage and shock jocks. He was gracious enough to give
MercatorNet some guidelines about how to be polite in an election year.
MercatorNet: An issue in this year's election campaign is politeness, or civility, as you call it. McCain (and some of his advisers) is said to have a volcanic temper while Obama projects himself as Mr Unflappable. Do you think that this will affect the outcome? Forni: Obama’s handlers will tell him to be more passionate in his attacks and John McCain will be advised to watch his temper. That will make no difference in the end because Senator Obama has already won. MercatorNet: Do rudeness and anger actually motivate people, as some campaign managers, and bosses, seem to think? Forni: Rudeness and anger are two different things. One can be rude without being angry and angry without being rude. Anger can indeed be a motivating factor for a politician. Good politicians convey the message that their anger is a justified stance against injustice. They will define their anger rather than being defined by it. MercatorNet: In reading political blogs, I am sometimes flabbergasted at how quickly debate turns into poisonous invective. Is the internet making us a ruder society? Forni: The internet is the product of societies with high levels of rudeness. In turn, it contributes to societal rudeness. Are we making the internet ruder? Yes. Is it making us ruder? Yes. MercatorNet: I know that Americans fret about stemming a tide of national boorishness. But my impression is that Americans are formal and polite compared to other cultures. Kids don't say "Yes, Sir" and "Yes, Ma'am" here in Australia. How do Americans score on a world scale? Forni: In my experience the average American child does not say “Yes, Sir” and “Yes, Ma’am.” Those forms are more common in the Southern states. But I believe you are right, Americans fare relatively well when it comes to manners. Europeans do not think so, but they often focus on American informality mistaking it for incivility. They tend to forget the formal side of the nation. MercatorNet: Anger management courses are all the rage, so to speak, in the US and elsewhere. Do these really do any good? Forni: Yes they do, but they are a reactive remedy. It would be much better to seriously train our children in good manners, so that they would acquire the ability to exercise restraint. Explosive anger would thus be prevented. No need for anger management programs. MercatorNet: In some circles, there is a feeling that manners and politeness are elitist ways of subtly perpetuating class distinctions. How would you respond to this? Forni: The genuinely polite person treats everybody with the same degree of respect and is inclusive in his or her attitude towards people. MercatorNet: As the election campaign heats up, have you any advice on how to debate issues at the water cooler without getting heated? Forni: Listen to the other person and look for points of agreement. As you mention them, begin to qualify your approval and finally show where your substantial disagreement (if any) lies. End the conversation in cordial tones and with a smile, if you can. Remember that the elections come and go but your job remains (one would hope). The colleague with whom you had an unfortunate exchange of ideologically inflamed words? You will have to see him or her every day at work. Detailed advice can be found in my website! P.M. Forni is director of the director of the Civility Initiative at Johns Hopkins University. His book, The Civility Solution: What to Do When People Are Rude, was published in June. |
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Comments (5)
adebowale oriku said...Obama has already won? Did I read that rightly? Won what? Won in a contest of temperaments; or is the professor saying that his victory in the oncoming election is a forgone conclusion? The latter? I hope Obama would find a handy piece of wood to touch…
Nigeria | Sunday, 10 August 2008 at 8:12 am
MTM said...The professor of politeness piece perpetuates a particular problem in the press, one you would do well to wander away from: “Forni: Obama’s handlers will tell him to be more passionate in his attacks and John McCain will be advised to watch his temper. That will make no difference in the end because Senator Obama has already won.” I am not sure of the etiquette of the online interview, but I would reserve the right to snip out impoliteness of that kind. The polls are tied. It is a regular tactic of the opposition--a tactic thought to be undemocratic and rude because it is seen as the best way to avoid the issues--to discuss a bill or election as “already won.”
United States | Monday, 11 August 2008 at 9:48 am
Sam said...As an American who supports McCain for conscience issues and also tries to be civil but sometimes falls short, I’ll try to give Prof Forni the benefit of the doubt with his comment that “Senator Obama has already won.” Yes, I too jumped out of my seat when I first read that comment, but thinking about it a little more, perhaps the good Professor meant that, in a hypothetical debate exchange between McCain’s noted temper and Obama’s noted unflappableness, Obama would have already won that exchange.
As other commenters have pointed out, the polls are basically tied at this point and there is no clear cut winner. The election is less than three months away and I think it will remain close right up to Election Day.
United States | Monday, 11 August 2008 at 10:29 pm
Evelyn M Granahan said...Thank you for this necessary dialog. It is not only needed at the workplace but also in church offices. As a church volunteer, I had experienced such comments on Nancy Pilosi hijacking democracy to that Barak Obama will even pay people to stay home from school. Both comments were not fact based nor charitable. I will study your guidelines. Thank you for a civil approach.
United States | Friday, 15 August 2008 at 4:19 am
David Page said...Bipartisanism, like Ecumenism, can be described as both civility and as a failure of conviction. It depends on whose ox is being gored. I’m all for civility as long as the Republicans do most of what the Democrats want. The Democrats in Washington have been pathetically civil for the last eight years and look at the mess that America is in now. Because of the Bush power grab democracy in America is in more danger now than it has been since the Federalists imposed the Alien and Sedition Acts 210 years ago.
Of course Obama hasn’t won yet, but would anyone care to bet on the election?
United States | Saturday, 16 August 2008 at 11:41 am
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