This weekend I met up with some blogging friends for drinks and conversation. I love these meet-ups because it gives me a chance to connect with people I only know thanks to blogging and online interactions. As we sat there drinking, talking and people watching, it struck me that I was severely out of my league.
While I was the youngest one there, and the only one still in her twenties, they all were years ahead of me in experience. All of them had been married at some point, one had taken the trip to the altar more than once. What really shocked me was that none of them had children and none of them wanted children – ever. One even had gone to physical lengths to ensure that would never be a ‘burden.’
My silence stood out in the conversation and one of them called me on it, poking fun that I perhaps actually wanted children. To be honest I was flabbergasted and didn’t know how to answer. I told them I wasn’t married and as a result children were certainly not on the horizon but that I liked kids and was not against them. My response made them all laugh and the conversation switched topics.
But now, I’m running through the whole conversation and realizing there is something seriously wrong with women around my age. Why are so many of them shying away from children and motherhood? Why do they actively work to keep children at bay until it is biologically impossible?
The more I think over the conversation the more I realize I have had similar discussions with others. One of my good friends is utterly convinced she never wants children thanks to the neurotic mother she had. And while she is now living with her boyfriend and marriage is on their minds, she will only agree to marry him if he promises to never want kids or ask her for them.
Another friend says she will only adopt because she doesn’t want weird things happening to her body as a result of a pregnancy. Others want to finish second degrees and establish themselves in a career before a baby even becomes a thought.
It’s all very distressing. What happened that we no longer see motherhood as a blessing or as something we can at least looking forward to, aspire to? Why is it reserved for the religious conservatives and country-bumpkins?
I can’t help but think of some of the amazing things these women do and feel the world is missing out since we’ll never experience the offspring of these talented go-getters.