This year, I officially entered into my mid-twenties. Let me tell you - this milestone makes you start to seriously think about what it is that makes you happy and will make you happy in the future. Now is the time that my friends and I are starting to think more long-term, particularly about our career goals, priorities, and especially relationships. Heaps of my friends are getting married and just as many have still wanted to take on commitment, albeit to a lesser degree, by moving in with their boyfriend or girlfriend, both camps seeing it as something that will make them happy, both now and going forward. Looking at my friends' situations has made me think about my own values and convictions, assess and reassess what I really want.

With these questions on the brain, when I saw this article headlining in the Sydney Morning Herald, I jumped on it straight away: Happiness is a matter of Choice. 

Now, I'm not generally a fan of studies producing statistics (I always question statistics!) - but this study followed 60,000 German people for up to 25 years, so I couldn't dismiss it straight off. The fruits of the study were no-brainers - the two main points being that: 

"People who prioritised their relationship with their partner and children were happier than those interested in career or material success, as were those with altruistic goals such as helping people or being involved in social or political activities"

or "Partner choice played a big role. Women were less happy if their partner did not prioritise family goals than if they had no partner"

Putting aside the issue of how the people conducting the study "measured" each participant's happiness (I mean, how can you really tell if someone is more happy than another in a study of 60,000?), it's pretty interesting that the main conduit of happiness for most people is still found in their family and, in particular, their partner. I think many people intuitively come to this conclusion themselves (excluding, maybe, the big-time corporate climbers!), which is why commitment to one person for the rest of your life is, to put it lightly, a really big deal. Considering the decisions my friends have made, and in light of the fact that we're living in a time where sex before marriage is the norm and divorce rates are high, I guess it's understandable that someone would think that living together first is the sensible and only way to be sure that they're committing to the right person, if and when they decide to get married. But is it really?

Considering that argument, I think this study raises some questions about how relevant the choice to live together first really is if you want to make sure that that relationship is going to make you happy long-term. Think about it. If we agree that prioritisation of family and having a partner who prioritises family is necessary for happiness (surely a no-brainer), how does living together outside the context of a life-long commitment (and, presumably, without children) actually indicate to you - in a more convincing way than if you didn't live with your partner - whether, first of all, YOU are someone who prioritises family, and, secondly, whether your partner is someone who prioritises family? These are things that you will know, I think, by getting to know a person well, by being good friends with them, by getting to know their family and how your partner treats their family. And if that's true, then I guess it means that living with a person, outside of a family context, probably won't be that helpful in working out whether you and your significant other are really going to be happy long-term.

Things to ponder. On another note, this article from USA Today, entitled "Dating for a decade? Young adults aren't rushing for marriage," interviewed couples who had chosen to live together, and one response sounded just like something I've heard many of my friends say:

"We wanted to see that we could function in a domestic environment — live together and work together and share responsibilities, so there wouldn't be any surprises."

I thought it was interesting that, given that this issue of discerning whether you and your partner can "work together" in a home is a common reason for couples living together first, the happiness study made no mention of the effect of "domestic compatibility" (not leaving socks around the place? not washing dishes?) as being a high ranking determinant of happiness over that 25 year period, if at all. 60,000 people isn't a negligible sample size. It's got to make you think.