The father who fell in love with the stranger who bore his child

A donor dad story that shows the power of biological ties.
Laura Perrins | Nov 18 2014 | comment  



donor

Aminah Hart and partner Scott Andersen with their daughter Leila.
(Photo ABC / Anthony Sines ACS)

 

There is a story worthy of the most outlandish Hollywood chick flick that an Australian woman is to marry the 'sperm donor of her child'. As ‘I am going to marry the father of my child’ does not make quite the same impact (as children before marriage are so common now) we must have the preceding description of ‘sperm donor’ to explain the incredulity of it all.

It is a great story – how “a single Australian woman has had a child using in-vitro fertilisation, only to later fell in love with the man who was her anonymous sperm donor.” The mother, Ms Aminah Hart, had suffered tragedy in her life before after the death of her baby sons to a rare genetic condition. Now it seems her happy ending as arrived.

Ms  Hart after selecting, Scott Andersen, an Australian cattle farmer as a sperm donor, conceived and had their daughter Leila. Ms Hart found Mr Anderson after a search and they agreed to meet for the first time in Melbourne four days after Leila's first birthday. Lucky Leila – not so lucky the other children who do not get to meet their fathers.

Ms Hart’s determination to find her daughter’s father stemmed from her own personal history of trying to search for her own father only to find out he died before they could meet.

Mr Anderson was not legally required to meet Leila until she turned 18 but agreed, especially after he received a photo of his baby and saw how much she looked like both him and his four other children from two previous marriages.

"It was surreal," he said. "I was looking at this little girl – she looks like my other kids and like me. Blonde hair, blue eyes. It was overwhelming at the start. It wasn't really my daughter, but it was. At first, I didn't know Aminah so I didn't show much emotion."

What this story demonstrates is just how important biological fathers and mothers are to the human experience. Mr Anderson was ‘overwhelmed’ and said ‘it wasn’t really my daughter but it was.’

I am not too sure why he thought Leila was not ‘really my daughter' – I suspect because of years of progressive social conditioning had him believe that fathers are optional extras to their children’s lives. Despite this, Mr Anderson knew, in his gut, that this girl was his daughter. Her hair, her eyes were from him.

Mr Anderson also tells us: "I fell in love with Leila before I fell in love with Aminah! It was all odd at the start. But Leila's beautiful. We arranged to meet once a month. Aminah and I became quite friendly and Leila started calling me daddy and coming to me all the time." This does not surprise me.

Father and daughter were reunited at early age and fathers do fall in love with their daughters: their own flesh and blood. Not surprisingly Leila started calling her father daddy – again only in today's world when adult desires triumph over children’s rights would this be surprising.

I hope this story brings home to us all how important fathers are to their children. Of course, there are circumstances when fathers cannot raise their children. But where adults deliberately set out to create children only to deprive children of their natural right to be raised by their mothers or fathers requires serious ethical and moral justification. This justification is usually lacking.

I wish this soon to be nuclear family all the best – I really do. But we should remember that there are thousands of children out there who, due to legal rules and new social conventions, have been deprived of their fathers and sometimes mothers. Sure, they will probably turn out fine on all the indicators adults like to measure these days, such GCSE results, income and annual skiing trips. But they cannot be given back the very essence of their humanity: to know and experience where they came from.

Laura Perrins in the Co-Editor of The Conservative Woman, where this article was first published. It is reproduced here with permission.



Copyright © Laura Perrins . Published by MercatorNet.com. You may download and print extracts from this article for your own personal and non-commercial use only. Contact us if you wish to discuss republication.

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