Can we create kinder schools?

Thomas Lickona

August 12, 2024 7 Reactions

One mother says: “My nice, pretty 7^th-grader has no friends. She eats alone in the cafeteria and walks alone in the halls. She does not know what she has done wrong. Last night, she said that she’d like to kill herself.” 

In a 10-year national study of 70,000 middle- and high school students, only 37 percent agreed with the statement: “Students in my school show respect for one another.”

Schools have no higher moral obligation to students and their parents than to do everything in their power to prevent peer cruelty and create a culture of kindness and respect. 

Can anything be done to make our schools safer, kinder, and more respectful? There is.

Bullying prevention programs that help

Published programs can help. A research review of 44 studies in 16 countries found that the K-12 Olweus Bullying Prevention Program “worked best” in reducing, but by no means eliminating, bullying behaviour.

The Olweus program includes eight components: (1) a school Bullying Prevention Committee; (2) training for all school staff; (3) parent awareness and involvement; (4) clear, consistently enforced school rules about bullying; (5) weekly class meetings on how to respond to bullying as a victim or bystander; (6) supervision of all school areas during lunch and recess; (7) individual meetings with bullying victims, perpetrators, and their parents; (8) assessment that measures progress made in reducing bullying.

In a US evaluation study of more than 400 schools using the Olweus program, the number of students who admitted to bullying declined by 27 percent in elementary schools, 35 percent in middle schools, and 31 percent in high schools. This reduction was significantly less than the 50 percent reduction Olweus reported from its initial implementation in Norway’s schools.   

The curriculum Steps to Respect is designed for elementary schools and focuses on friendship. It coaches children on how to join a group, discover shared interests, manage hurt feelings, solve disagreements, and resist pressure to exclude others. Studies find that students with at least one friend are less likely to be bullied and less likely to develop emotional problems from being bullied.

In our own Center’s study of 24 award-winning high schools, we visited schools that had made progress in creating a culture of peer solidarity. One effective strategy: teaching students how to be “peer allies” to someone who has been bullied, by providing companionship and emotional support (“They made sure I was OK,” “They took me to a counsellor”).

Schoolwide character education

Schoolwide character education takes a crucial next step. It goes well beyond bullying prevention to make a positive, proactive effort to integrate respect and kindness into every phase of school life.

An example: At Winkelman Elementary School on Chicago’s north shore — with more than 40 languages among students’ families — put-downs and fights were becoming more common. Students were also frequently disrespectful to teachers and other adults in the building.

The principal and faculty decided to begin the new school year with a home-grown character education program they called, “Let’s Be Courteous, Let’s Be Caring.”

When I walked into Winkelman’s lobby, the first thing that caught my eye was a giant display defining courtesy and caring in terms of observable school behaviours.

“Courtesy” was defined as: (1) Saying please, thank you, you’re welcome, and excuse me; (2) Being a good listener; (3) Waiting your turn; (4) Acting politely everywhere; and (5) Discussing problems.

“Caring” was defined as: (1) Sharing; (2) Respecting others’ feelings; (3) Following rules; (4) Working cooperatively, and (5) Being a good friend. 

Winkelman’s teachers all worked to create a classroom culture that taught and reinforced these behaviours. They asked their students, “What rules do we need that will help us show courtesy and show caring?” 

When a student broke a rule, the teacher would take the student aside and ask quietly, “Did that behaviour show courtesy?” “Did it show caring?” 

Then, in that year’s teacher-parent conferences, teachers said to parents,

“We’re emphasising courtesy and caring at school, but we need your help at home.”

At weekly assemblies, students performed skits on courtesy or caring and invited speakers from the community to talk about those themes. 

Finally, every Winkelman student was asked to do some kind of community service, such as working with the elderly or handicapped. Students were learning to care by giving care.  

Student behaviour steadily improved. Parents said that fights had become rare. Students I interviewed said they liked Winkelman because kids were “nice” and “didn’t pick on you”.

Three years after beginning Let’s Be Courteous, Let’s Be Caring, Winkelman was recognised in a Chicago-wide competition for excellence in academics and character.

This isn’t rocket science. Other schools have found they can achieve similar results using virtue-focused strategies like these. The crucial ingredient: making a serious commitment to becoming a school of character.

Do you think bullying can truly be nipped in the bud? Let us know your thoughts below.

Thomas Lickona, PhD is a developmental psychologist and author of books on character development such as Character Matters and How to Raise Kind Kids.

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