I’m seriously thinking about leaving home and going to live in Russia. The final straw came this morning when I saw a British Gas van parked in my street with a Gay Pride flag painted on it. I bet they don’t have those on Gazprom vans in Moscow or St Petersburg. What does being homosexual have to do with heating your home? About as much as fossil fuels have to do with Will & Grace.

It seems ironic that, in order to escape one form of pro-gay totalitarianism at home, queer-sceptical Westerners like me might now have to seek refuge under a form of equally tyrannical anti-gay totalitarianism abroad.

Earlier this year, under the ultra-conservative rule of President Vladimir Putin, the Kremlin added any pro-gay groups and their “structural units” operating in the country to an official list of banned “extremist and terrorist” organisations, alongside bodies like ISIS and al-Qaeda. Putting two detainees from Stonewall and Islamic Jihad in the same cell together should be fun.

As a result, actual full-blown anti-terror police are now being employed to disrupt any unacceptably deviant activities going on right across the Russian Federation. In March, disapproving British newspaper The Times carried the following inadvertently amusing account of a raid on a gay club in the city of Orenberg, east of Moscow: “Masked Russian police officers burst into the crowded gay club wearing body armour and brandishing assault rifles. ‘On the floor!’ they shouted, forcing men to lie half-naked and spread-eagled on the ground.”

Pink triangles in Red Square

In a 2021 poll, 42 percent of Russians “totally disagreed” that gays and lesbians should have equal rights with other sexually normal citizens; only a far smaller 14 percent “totally agreed” that uranians should enjoy equal rights. This sounds bigoted, but maybe the Russian public had just seen what happens when you give ungrateful homosexualists equal rights over here in the West – i.e., they immediately begin asking for special extra-privileged rights instead, like having their big gay rainbow flags plastered all over British Gas vans as a mark of ideological fealty towards Pink Mecca.

Centrica (British Gas’ gender-neutral parent company) today has a special page devoted towards promoting “diversity” on its website, explaining the logic of defacing their fleet with rainbow hammers and sickles thus:

“At Centrica, we want everyone to be treated equally and fairly [but some to be treated more equally and fairly than others]. Our mission is to be open and inclusive for all – regardless of colour, ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender identity or culture [but not politics or religion, obviously]. And not just behind closed doors, but in everything we do and everywhere we go. Green isn’t the only colour we pride ourselves on. Since 2020, we’ve ordered 3,000 new fully electric Vauxhall Vivaro e-vans. They run exclusively on electricity and are totally ‘green’. But look closer and you’ll see there’s a whole spectrum of colour on show. On some of these vans, you’ll see the Pride flag, symbolising diversity of all kinds. So next time you see that colourful flag driving past, remember it’s our promise to continue to drive forward our mission to be open and inclusive for all … We’re proud of what we’ve achieved so far, but we know this is just the beginning. [What next, then? Compulsory flag tattoos for the drivers?] An organisation as big as Centrica has a responsibility to pave the way and be true leaders on all issues of inclusivity. Most importantly we genuinely want to make equality a reality in our business. It’s going to be an exciting road ahead and everyone’s welcome to join us on the journey.”

But what if you don’t want to “join them on this journey” towards Gay Utopia? What if you just want to purchase some cheap gas? Then you’re not really very welcome in Britain at all anymore and should seek out a new life in an alternative dictatorship falsely posing as a full electoral democracy, such as Vladimir Putin’s Russia. And, what’s more, it seems Mr Putin would be very glad to have you. Not everyone in Britain is a back-seat driver, you know, Centrica.

Visa express

From September 1, residents of certain NATO nations, probably those placed on Russia’s current ‘Unfriendly Countries’ list, like the US, UK, Australia, Canada, France and Germany, will be able to apply for a special ‘Shared Values Visa’ (SVV), enabling them to seek refuge from rampant gay public utilities vehicles in the sheltering bosom of the Kremlin.

On August 19, Vlad himself signed a new Presidential decree, exempting those Western would-be asylum-seekers fleeing “destructive neoliberal ideology” back home and who consequently favoured “prioritising spirituality over materialism” in Putin-Land, from the usual visa requirement of having to pass strict entry examinations in Russian language, law and history. All candidates now had to do to qualify for an SVV was “express a desire to relocate to Russia due to disagreement with their home country’s policies that contradict traditional Russian values”, such as not being willing to publicly pretend gas was gay.

It seems that, in order to better promote this new scheme, a special early-issue SVV had already been handed out to one lucky family, the Heyers, a Christian clan from New York, who were paraded on State TV by Russian Interior Ministry spokeswoman Irina Volk, who boasted that the Heyers “know that in our country traditional values are protected by the State. They say it is safer here, the level of education is better, large families are supported.” Mr Heyers agreed, saying “I feel like me and my family have been put under an arch that provides us with security.” Mrs Heyers went further, gushing that, by being granted asylum, “she felt like she had just married Russia.”

Fearing “moral turpitude” back home (a euphemism for queer and trans propaganda in their children’s schools), the Heyers proved an excellent propaganda coup for a Russian regime which loudly claims it is currently fighting a kind of holy war against a brand of NATO-backed gay Nazi Western Satanism in Ukraine.

Does Vladimir Putin really care about the well-being of all those persecuted Western conservatives who now increasingly feel like aliens in their own homelands, though? About as much as the leaders of Western nations genuinely cared about the well-being of escaped Russian dissidents they gave shelter to during the Cold War – that is, purely as handy propaganda assets to paint the other side as being evil with, to audiences both domestic and foreign. And, just as during the Cold War, such tactics seem to work. Immediately after Putin announced his SVV bonanza, some Western useful idiots, like top US conspiracy nut Alex Jones of InfoWars fame/shame, tweeted things like this:

 Reportedly, Alex is considering planning on seeking asylum in Moscow himself someday soon too, following his recent financial problems Stateside. Should Kamala Harris/Harley Quinn win the upcoming US election, Jones might even be joined by a certain prominent former POTUS. One advocate from an NGO called the Russian Immigration Aid Centre has sent a letter to Donald Trump, urging him to seek refuge from his many US legal troubles there:Meanwhile, Tara Reade, an American former Senate staff-member who claims to have been sexually assaulted by President Joe Biden back in the early 1990s, announced she was seeking Russian citizenship in May last year, Russia being one of the final places on Earth where she still felt safe from further future molestation at the hands of alleged moral deviants and loonies. How will she feel when she wakes up one day to find that Jones and Trump are out there with her now too?

Make Alaska Russian Again!

Disillusioned occidentals seeking sanctuary in Orthodox Russia do often seem to have a rather unrealistically positive image of the place. One recent profile of prior MAGA fugitives from wokeness seeking “the American Dream – in Russia” garnered quotes along the lines of “just because he [Putin] was in the KGB doesn’t mean he’s killed anybody”, “Twenty percent of the women could be supermodels”, “Russia is becoming a bastion of Christianity … I do think it was God leading me [onto the plane]”, “I wouldn’t seriously consider starting a family in the US today … Spiritually, things are a mess”, and “I often say it [Russia] feels like our [old] positive vision of 1950s America.”

In February 2023, a meeting was arranged between wannabe Western asylum-seekers and members of the Russian State Duma (their parliament), as part of a special ‘Refugees From NATO Countries’ panel. Nikolai Shores, an American convert to the Russian Orthodox faith, pleaded for freedom from rainbow tyranny thus:

“I am 45, I work in IT as a system administrator and teach engineering to the new generation. And I really want to move to Russia. My wife and I are horrified by the situation in the United States. We have propaganda of homosexuality everywhere. Our children are taught this at school. It is impossible to avoid this, even by studying or working remotely. From the first days of work, they ask for orientation, force them [all employees and students] to sign a paper against discrediting LGBT people. What difference does it make what orientation I have if I just fix computers? As a Christian, it is difficult for me to cope with this. And for [quoting] a passage from the Bible, you can be fired. America has become profoundly anti-Christian.”

He should try working for British Gas!

One participant in the panel-meeting, Charles Bausman – who appeared to flee to Russia following alleged participation in the January 6 riots in the US Capitol following Donald Trump’s unsuccessful 2020 re-election bid – even went so far as to claim that “at least one million” Americans were ready to move Russia-wards, although Ru Paul and Dylan Mulvaney are probably not amongst them.

Mr Bausman has been alleged to have had a somewhat dubious past, and now runs a series of pro-Kremlin websites under the general ‘Russia Insider’ umbrella, and seems to have been involved in lobbying efforts to persuade the Russian authorities to liberalise entry requirements for Sodom-fleers like himself. Now Putin’s SVV has been announced, perhaps he will finally be happy: with such a document, Bausman’s holiday can become permanent.

A village with no Village People

Are there really a million Americans with their bags packed and ready to flee Biden’s Rainbow Reich, as Bausman says? If so, where will they all live?

How about in a special village designed for such newly stateless persons, to be built somewhere outside Moscow sometime soon, a real home from homos?

Another speaker at the Duma’s 2023 ‘Refugees From NATO Countries’ panel was Timur Beslangurov, a Russian immigration lawyer who owns the website movingtorussia.ru. Here, he explains why Westerners should move East immediately: “Affordable medicine, free public education, low taxation … Last but not the least – Russia is a strong supporter of traditional values! Globalist, neoliberal agenda will never be supported in Russia.”

Sounds good, which is why in May 2023 Beslangurov announced, via the State-run RIA Novosti news agency, that “around 200” traditional families with no queer kids now wanted to move to Russia to avoid their own traitorous governments’ constant promotion of “propaganda of radical values” such as having “70 genders and who knows what comes next”. Many “normal people” in the West now abhorred places like America and Canada as mere open-air dens of iniquity, particularly “traditional Catholics” who “very strongly believe in the prophecy that Russia will remain the only Christian country in the world,” the lawyer said.

Therefore, Timur explained how he had apparently persuaded the authorities to permit the imminent creation of what Western commentators dubbed a “MAGA colony” outside Moscow, a traditional-style village whose construction was to be financed by the asylum-seekers themselves, presumably by virtue of them buying gay-proof houses there. However, closer inspection reveals that there has been no actual official announcement to this effect at all, leading some to question whether the project truly exists anywhere outside of Beslangurov’s head. Was he just trying to drum up more custom for his services, or, being well-connected as he undoubtedly is, does the lawyer have some inside info from lawmakers the rest of us are just not privy to?